Finally! After way too many months of working-writing-worrying, tomorrow finally a holiday. Kind of. It will be spent writing but hopefully in a reflecting-writing for myself way instead of a planning-strategizing for everyone else and their dog way. Plus a break from the ‘dear madam, i would like some money’ email stream (note to people who want grants – if it says we will let you know when we have a call for proposals, respect that). Can’t just send a formulaic email back? Well yes of course but it is amazing how little things like that can really take up a day.

The Fellowship of the Ring on Facebook

Bilbo Baggins invited you to my one hundred and eleventh birthday party
100 people have accepted
60 have not yet replied
Gandalf comments still stuck in Mordor. Not sure if able to make it.
Bilbo Baggins comments but we need the fireworks! You promised, Gandalf.

300 people wished Bilbo Baggins happy birthday

Bilbo Baggins sends Frodo Baggins a ring
Frodo Baggins comments Thanks Uncle Bilbo Baggins. But what does it do?
Gollum comments Is that my own? my Precioussssss?

Bilbo Baggins has deleted his FB account.

Sauron is a bit annoyed that Elrond Half-elven and Galadriel of Lorien are not returning his calls.

Sauron sends a message to Elrond Half-elven and Galadriel of Lorien
Hey guys, I think its time for you to return those rings now. By the way, have you seen my special one lying around? And can you ask Gandalf the Grey to accept my friend request?

Frodo Baggins feels like someone is watching him.
Samwise Gamgee comments It’s just me, Master Frodo

Tom Bombadil is sad no one will accept his friend requests other than Glorfindel. Hates Peter Jackson.

Gandalf the Grey is going to visit his friend Saruman the White
Radagast the Brown comments Hey guys! Great you’re meeting up! I wish I was there too!

Frodo Baggins Is going on an extended journey. Apparently. Samwise Gamgee  Peregrin Took  Merriadoc Brandybuck  Fatty Bolger
Lotho Sackville-Baggins likes this

Samwise Gamgee thinks Master Frodo is hot when he sings in pubs. Not so hot when he disappears.

Frodo Baggins Peregrin Took Merriadoc Brandybuck are now friends with Strider

Peregrin Took note to self: do not fry sausages in the open when running from strange wraiths.

Frodo Baggins thinks knife wounds suck.

Strider had to carry a hobbit today. Recommends they stop eating second breakfast.
Merriadoc Brandybuck does not like this.

Samwise Gamgee has accepted Strider’s friend request.

Samwise Gamgee ELVES! <3 <3

administration has sent  a message to Strider.

Dear Sir, It has come to our attention that you are using a fake profile. Please note
it is not our policy to accept fake profiles. We kindly encourage Facebook users to
use their real names.

Aragorn son of Arathorn has updated his profile.

Arwen Undomiel writes on Aragorn son of Arathorn’s wall.

Arwen Undomiel –> Aragorn son of Arathorn There you are! No wonder I couldn’t find you before

Aragorn son of Arathorn is in a relationship.

Aragorn son of Arathorn likes the page Like this if you think older women are so hot.
Gimli Son of Gloin likes this

Elrond Half-elven invites Faramir Gimli Son of Gloin Legolas Aragorn son of Arathorn Gandalf the Grey to the Council of Elrond
Faramir comments Stupid Dad, Denethor Steward of Gondor won’t let me go. He never lets me have fun. Can you send the invitation to Boromir instead?

Elrond Half-elven invites Boromir to the Council of Elrond

Boromir Gimli Son of Gloin Legolas Aragorn son of Arathorn Gandalf the Grey have accepted Elrond Half-elven’s invitation.

Elrond Half-elven gets so annoyed when uninvited guests show up at his meetings.
Gandalf the Grey comments don’t whine Elrond. I just escaped from Saruman’s prison and not feeling very good right now. Do not recommend Eagle Air unless you are in a life or death situation. Hmmm. Like I was.

Radagast the Brown is so glad he didn’t go to the reunion after all.

Meriadoc Brandybuck is tweeting the Council of Elrond from behind a potted plant. See my Twitter account @hookedonpipeweed

Boromir thinks that scruffy Ranger is trying to pull a fast one.

Boromir thinks the Council are a bunch of useless gits.

Gimli Son of Gloin thinks that Legolas elf is a useless git

Legolas Gandalf should not be using the language of Mordor here! And that dwarf is a useless git.

Frodo Baggins thinks Crap I’m in trouble now.

Meriadoc Brandybuck is annoyed Elrond has banned the use of Twitter during the Council.
Elrond Half-elven comments that goes for Facebook too.
Sauron comments Oh well, I can always go back to watching on the palantir. Gandalf your Mordor accent is terrible. And can you please accept my friend request?
Saruman the White likes this.

Boromir Gimli Son of Gloin Legolas Aragorn son of Arathorn Gandalf the Grey Frodo Baggins Peregrin Took Merriadoc Brandybuck Samwise Gamgee have joined the group The Fellowship of the Ring

Boromir comments I thought we were going to call ourselves the Nine Walkers
Gandalf the Grey we get more marketing with The Fellowship apparently. Something to do with a movie.
Nazgul #2 comments there can be only one 9.
The Highlander comments Hey that is my line.
Elrond Half-elven comments Speaking of, can anyone tell me why I have this urge to call Frodo Mr Anderson?

Gimli Son of Gloin thinks the Watcher in the Water looks like Paul the Octopus

Watcher in the Water I predict one will die and one will be resurrected into white. Because I’m a special octopus with powers.

Gimli Son of Gloin –> Gloin we need to send a request to Facebook to delete Balin son of Fundin’s account.

Gandalf the Grey –> Peregrin Took Fool of a Took!
Boromir and 7 others like this

Peregrin Took note to self. Do not throw rocks down wells in strange places. Also, must stop eating second breakfast and take up jogging.

Gandalf the Grey Uh-oh.

Aragorn son of Arathorn has posted a poem on Gandalf the Grey’s wall.

Gimli Son of Gloin has sent Legolas a teddy bear.

Frodo Baggins :*(
Samwise Gamgee <hugs>

Gandalf the Grey has deleted his Facebook account.

Boromir Gimli Son of Gloin Frodo Baggins Peregrin Took Merriadoc Brandybuck Samwise Gamgee are now friends with Galadriel of Lorien

Gimli Son of Gloin has joined the group Fetish for Elven women
Aragorn son of Arathorn and Legolas like this

When I need to swear I fudge by swearing in languages that people around me don’t understand. Luckily there will always be two rather obscure indigenous languages I can throw curses around in. However since for me its about expressing frustration and annoyance rather than saying anything shocking, most times the quintessential Asian ‘aiyaaaahhh’ expresses more than the rudest sexual expression. Length and ascending tone of aaaaaah can be varied depending on intensity of frustration. Try it. It works. And feels so good.

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plinky asks how I feel about swearing. Am I pro? con? sibiet, baksamabas…